Episode Transcript
[00:00:04] Speaker A: Horizon within ca SIM is the name and helping you is this game. And at this time of year, it can be overwhelming. And I think some people would call it burnout, where you just can't go to another store or another function or just do more preparation. And I have to MIT SIM this past weekend with my partner. After about the fifth store, I became the Grinch.
[00:00:25] Speaker B: Did you?
[00:00:26] Speaker A: Oh, I was like, I want to go home. I want to watch the end of the Bills game. I want my coffee and my cookie. No more shopping. I've been tapping out and I was very Grinch. Like, in my behavior about the fifth store.
[00:00:37] Speaker B: I could imagine that I'm. Did you have a long week? Like, walk me through. It was a busy week. I.
[00:00:43] Speaker A: We had two functions the day before.
Up early with the dogs and just like.
And I can. I could. There's a limit. I got a timeout. I can't shop anymore.
I love the holidays. I know we're doing. But why don't we just buy this? Just go home now. We gotta look at something else.
[00:01:01] Speaker B: And I think, you know, it's funny you say that because I've yet to meet and I'm generalizing, you know, a male person that has truly enjoyed being in the mall for three and a half hours and going, you know what?
Just buy.
Looks great, honey.
I could understand when people go to.
[00:01:26] Speaker A: Amazon other online functions to do their shopping, like, oh, this looks good. When's it going to arrive?
[00:01:33] Speaker B: Great. Click. Bought next.
[00:01:36] Speaker A: Done.
[00:01:36] Speaker B: I'm not. I hate shopping. Yeah, yeah.
[00:01:38] Speaker A: But I was. I admit I was. And I'm not sure if it was burnout or just grumpy afternoon. I need my afternoon coffee or my groach.
But burnout at this time of year to me has to be a real reality, Sal.
[00:01:52] Speaker B: It is. Because, like, we already have a lot on our plate. Like, even if you take the holidays aside, right. And you look at our everyday lives, right. And you could be somebody that is, you know, any generation, right. We have responsibilities, we have obligations, we have things to do. You know, it's only so much you can do in a week to begin with, but light.
So if you want to look at it and say, you know what? I experience a level six burnout on a normal everyday week. Right. And by the time, you know, Saturday comes around, like, I'm like, you know, and then I got to reboot, restart, and then Monday. Right. And it could be your Gen Z that has to go to school. Yeah. And it could be your late bloomer that, you know, I'm on the edge of retirement. And you know, once you cap those two, you, you're kind of looking at this ebb and flow of energy that's been pulling you in a places. And then you start adding.
The seasonal changes get stark sooner. It's colder. You know, if you get a Snowstorm now where 45 minute commute turned into an hour and a half commute like last week when we were and we got the Alberta Clipper come through and.
[00:03:06] Speaker A: All of a sudden you're stuck on the 401 for two hours and now.
[00:03:10] Speaker B: You'Re like completely flatlined because that hour and a half had to go somewhere else. Yeah, yeah. Add Christmas shopping, add navigating parking lots in the mall. Like your brain is doing 40% more work on a day to day basis. So for you on a Saturday afternoon, feeling like, you know, I'm turning Grinchy.
All of us are there.
We have this in society. I've also noticed, especially in the last few years, there's this expectation of being body, health, energy all the time. How is that possible?
It's not possible. But there's this false expectation of it.
And you know, it's everywhere. Right. Like we can't really like then the last time you could walk in there and go, I'll afford a Grinch today. And they're going to be like, wow, you know, don't be a Baja rumba, don't be a woohoo. You know what I mean? Like, cheer up, it's a Christmas spirit. And you're like, no, I'm just tired. Yeah, right.
So it is not something that we should feel that needs to be ostracized. I feel that it's a conversation that needs to be had because it takes away from the joy of Christmas. And even if you look at the story of the Grinch, right. He was tied to the noise from who Will?
And because it was just getting more and more, it became more and more to a point where he became two hearts too small.
Right. And now we feel, well, if I express that I'm two hearts too small.
[00:04:46] Speaker A: What am I wrong with you?
[00:04:48] Speaker B: So then we just whiplash ourselves to being buddy all the time.
[00:04:51] Speaker A: Right.
[00:04:52] Speaker B: And all we've done is we've compounded our burnout even more.
Right.
So another thing that we need to kind of consider is our professional settings, our personal settings and our social settings also increase the demand on our needs. Right? Right. So every day you look at your.
[00:05:12] Speaker A: Calendar like, oh God, I got two things here, three things here.
[00:05:16] Speaker B: I got a shop, I Got to do this, I got to do that, I got to do that. You know, family's coming into town, I gotta go to the op. So.
And you cannot take time out and say, I just need a minute. Right.
So one of the common tools that I use in session a lot is, is reframing. Right. Because at the end of the day, this time of year is going to pull energy from you.
Whether you choose to participate in activities, whether you choose to participate in the holidays, your environment has become that much more. Right. So if you do Saturday afternoon grocery shopping, well, guess what? Now you're competing for parking space, you're competing for aisle space, you're competing for that. So inadvertently you're burning out because in a, in your routine of non participation in the holidays, you're still exerting energy that you didn't have to in your social setting, in your professional setting.
Now all of a sudden you have to go to a Christmas lunch. Yeah. Right.
[00:06:22] Speaker A: And get your work done at the same time.
[00:06:24] Speaker B: Right. Or they're like, oh, nobody has to do any work but you, you, your CRMs require you to send the emails out. Yeah. Because they may be working in a different time zone or they're working in a different country or whatever the X values are. So now all of a sudden you have this expectation to go sit through Christmas lunch because you have to be social.
[00:06:42] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:06:43] Speaker B: But it's not something even to participate in. And this is during the day of the week. Yeah. So now all of a sudden, you know, it's 3:30 in the afternoon. One it's a disruption of routine and two per o' clock you have to go pick up the kids. It snowed.
So one way to reframe that sense of feeling, because minute you start feeling burnout and you don't have a way to measure it becomes very hard to then reorient yourself or find bursts of energy.
So when you're reframing, one of the tools that I suggest is such as traffic lights. Right. So you have your, you go green to red. Right. So the best way to frame your energy is you go, okay, if I'm in the green, things are manageable because you've accounted for that, there are more things happening.
The reason why I'm saying manageable versus I can do this because I can do this gives you that sense of buddy the elf energy.
We have to also be truthful that there's demands coming of you. So like say on a Saturday, okay, so green is manageable, yellow is tolerable, red is.
I'm Two hearts too small right? Now, if I had to ask you, when you got out of the car, what color were you?
[00:08:03] Speaker A: I was yellow, on the verge of red.
[00:08:06] Speaker B: So you were already on the low when we started. That's what I'm saying.
[00:08:10] Speaker A: I was entering yellow. I was thinking, okay, I think I can get through this.
[00:08:13] Speaker B: That means we need to go. Okay. That means you woke up probably in the light green, yellow range to begin with because you said you had two activities the night before. Yeah. That's cognitive reframing. So when you wake up, whatever, you can do that every day of the week, you know, and you could be like, what am I waking up in? Am I waking up in? Are things manageable today?
Are things tolerable today? That's it. It's a simple match to it. You're not overanalyzing it. You're not questioning yourself. You're not pushing yourself. You're just taking a step back.
Right. And I brought this up in a, in a previous podcast. You know, the setup method.
Oh, yes, yes. Yeah, yeah. Now you can bridge them together. So the sound method would be. Then see what it is. So now you're seeing on a wake, right? You're asking, where am I? Which color? Right. You're naming it Burnout at level of ET you're taking the it is what it is, and then the last one, active conviction. And it is when the going gets tough, the tech kept going.
Right? Now you've matched the two because you're telling yourself, hey, listen, I'm not being Grinch out of purpose.
I'm being Grinched because I'm being pushed in many directions, which I'm able to manage pre holiday.
But all these extras, I, I, I'm not getting new energy. I'm still me.
I have to manage this. So by doing Santa with the color code right now, a lot of times what happens is edits, even with myself, right? Because they start blending in each other. If you're stuck in a snowstorm, Santa is not going to come in your mind.
[00:10:02] Speaker A: No.
[00:10:04] Speaker B: You're too heart too small right away.
So another technique to reframe the mind is it's called twcw.
Okay. And what that stands for is the world and weight.
[00:10:20] Speaker A: Okay?
[00:10:21] Speaker B: So if you don't want to go with it is what it is, because it sounds a little bit more angering because you're like, no, it isn't what it is. Right.
Fine. Just in that take a breath moment. You're still keeping Santa where it comes to take a breath.
You inhale the world can wait.
[00:10:45] Speaker A: So how do I know if I'm just in a grinchy mood for a couple hours because I'm overdue for a coffee and a cookie? And how do I know if I'm.
[00:10:51] Speaker B: Really burned out by your color codes? Oh.
[00:10:55] Speaker A: Oh, I see. So I see.
[00:10:57] Speaker B: Because you're matching it to it. Because remember, you're always going to wake up to manageable. Right. Things are either manageable, things are either tolerable, or things are either two hearts too small.
[00:11:07] Speaker A: Two hearts too small.
[00:11:08] Speaker B: You're only following three zones because we are accounting for the fact, right, that the holidays and the season is ex.
Is expecting an extra demand from you because you have it from all three areas. You have extra demands in your home environment, you have extra demands in your social environment, and you have extra demands in your professional environment because you've got.
[00:11:28] Speaker A: To get all this extra work done before you take a break. Right.
[00:11:30] Speaker B: Or it's events, activities. Yes.
Maybe like, you know, you're a salesperson, and now you got to take your top five clients out, and one, you got to take them to a Leafs game. One, you got to take them to a Raps game. One of you guys came to a fancy dinner, the other one, he's flying in from town and you got.
That's an extra demand on your professional lens. Or you're the type that has to fly out of November. Yes. And your client happens to be in Europe.
Right. And when you land now, now you're. You're personal on your social. What I'm trying to say is that by using that gauge meter, you're only measuring is my level of energy for today manageable, which means I can get through the day. Is it portable?
Right. I can get to the drill, but I'm going to need support, or I'm going to need to find ways to pause. Or you know what?
I'm just two hearts too small.
Now we can find a way to get you more energy. Right? So, you know, I think we discussed it in the Doom scroll podcast. Right? Let's talk about fat, proteins and carbs.
[00:12:34] Speaker A: Yes.
[00:12:36] Speaker B: Now, I would encourage the listeners to go to that podcast because it's got some valuable answers on how you can replenish your energy. Right. But to kind of give a quick recap on it, Basically, what it is just like how in the middle of the day, you're going to reach for something to energize you physically. Right? So either you're going to be like, I have time and I'm going to have a Protein bar, right? It's got a combination of all three, right. Proteins, carbs and fats. Right. Or you could be like, you know what, I'm going to have a wrap, protein, carbs and fats, right. Or I'm going to stop and grab an actual bite.
The they're replenishing energy.
Same way you can replenish energy mentally, Right. Where your simple carbs could be. You know what, I'm just going to go on insta, right? And I'm just going to go look at some reels that I like and I'm going to tune the word out and I'm going to set a timer and in 10 minutes, whatever energy I got, I'm going to get going. Right? Same thing with your proteins. Now proteins are more activities. You could be like, you know what, I'm going to put everything down.
[00:13:41] Speaker A: Walk, going to go walk the dog.
[00:13:42] Speaker B: I'm going to go walk the dog. Or if I'm in the office, guys, I'm just going to take the elevator down. Yeah. I'm going to go into the lobby, I'm going to go to the front door, I'm going to open the door, take it a quick sip of the breath, close the door, come back. Because that's all the time you have. Maybe you only have four minutes, right? But that's enough to go and come back.
[00:13:58] Speaker A: You did an activity breaks that mental cycle, right? Right.
[00:14:01] Speaker B: Because you may not have time to go for a 10 minute walk. So create a reality you can fulfill. Right. You're just giving yourself anxiety. The idea is carbs are something simple. Social media is really the simplest way to get a carbon. Right. That replenishes you. So you may be yellow, bartering red and you're like, I need an intervention. Because remember, the only thing you can do is get to too heart, too small in any environment other than a home environment.
[00:14:26] Speaker A: Right.
[00:14:27] Speaker B: So now you can then use the proper intervention and go, okay, I know what I can do.
When you're in your green life's okay, it's your yellow to red.
Your issue is yellow to red. Your issue is not green to yellow. When you're yellow to red. When you're like tolerable to burnout or too hard too small. Right. You can use different tools. You can use the world can wait where you could be like, you know what, the world can wait.
[00:14:53] Speaker A: From your standpoint, Sim, is there a difference between I'm, I feel burned out or I think I'm depressed? How do you identify saying I'm not just burned out I'm feeling like Charlie Brown Christmas depressed. How do you know?
[00:15:08] Speaker B: So I like that you brought that up and I feel it. It deserves space and conversation on its own.
[00:15:18] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:15:19] Speaker B: And I feel we should do an episode on understanding what it means to have a Charlie Brown Christmas.
[00:15:27] Speaker A: Okay. So that'll be our next. Next episode. Getting into that for now, I'm trying not to be a Grinch.
[00:15:34] Speaker B: I know.
[00:15:34] Speaker A: I'm gonna have a coffee later with my cookie, so I'll be a lot happier. It doesn't take much and I'll be more between six and nine. And six going to three.
[00:15:43] Speaker B: Right.
So. Or the easiest way is horrible.
[00:15:49] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:15:49] Speaker B: Manageable, tolerable. Two hearts too small.
[00:15:52] Speaker A: I love that. It's a great one.
That's why we want you, Sim.
[00:15:55] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:15:55] Speaker A: Because it's perfect.
[00:15:56] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:15:56] Speaker A: You are very, very manageable. Every day I talk to.
